i don't want to go in the fire

My little DIY of the day: ripped tights.

As seen from Alexander Wang's Autumn/ Winter collection.

At first, I was slightly confused on actually how to ladder the tights, but after a bit of pulling and poking with a safety pin, I got a bit carried away, as you can tell.

I love the ease of this look, along with the slight edge that it brings, if done right of course.

After taking this picture, I also realized how badly I need to clean my dresser.

currently listening to: fables- the dodos

saturday morning coffee.

Oh, how I do love coffee in the warmth of morning daylight and my bed.

This will be the make up of my weekend.

I have a research paper due monday and two midterms this week, and here I am tinkering with a camera in the midst of it. And of course, listening to Sigur Ros. Sadly, I have no idea what it means without the assistance of English translation, but that doesn't make it any less enchanting.

currently listening to: i gaer- sigur ros

TWLOHA Day

To Write Love on Her Arms is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for those you struggle with depression, addiction, self-injury, and suicide. TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire and also to invest directly into treatment and recovery.

To Write Love On Her Arms Day is a day where anyone can write the words "love" on their arms, to support those who are fighting against depression and those trying to recover.

Having once been a victim of depression, I know how it feels first hand. The worst part of it all is going through it alone.

Be free from the idea, that you are alone.

currently listening to: someone somewhere- jason reeves

Follow my blog with bloglovin

I’m gonna close my eyes and maybe it will go away.

Is there really any such thing as privacy anymore?

Or on the contrary, do we not allow ourselves privacy? People display everything about themselves on websites such as myspace and facebook. We do it for ourselves, for our friends, but many people seem to overlook the other general audience, those we don’t know. We have all heard about this millions of times, and the issue is quite tired, but that doesn’t make it any less of a threat.
Along with the dangers, people seem to forget whatever information or pictures you display on the internet is free territory. Meaning, those jobs you are applying to, colleges, and those family members you don’t quite want to know EVERYTHING about you, they all have access to it.
Lovely thought, isn’t it?

Even still, I argue for the right of privacy, the privacy of which I seem to have a great lack of.

Ironic that I am writing about this on a blog of my entire life.

Currently listening to: platinum blonde life- no doubt

yellow like a coward

Though I do adore my diana, i have realized that i am quite stingy when it comes to film. I just can't seem to get myself to take a picture at times! Simply because I don't want to waste the film on something not quite worth. At this rate it will take me a year to go through a single roll of film. It's dreadful. It really is.

currently listening to: fortune teller- forest fire

i know you feel it too

My new sketch. My new project. I have all this leftover floral material from my halloween costume and it's just sitting there waiting to be used.
I have a few others I'll put up later. Quite coincidentally though, I have a research paper due soon, so I'm not exactly sure when this will get done, sadly.

Here's some killer news though: my crappy little polaroid digital camera has resurrected :) This is quite useful since I haven't gotten around to picking up the software to upload photos from my ancient canon powershot s1 is.

currently listening to: hell- tegan and sara

giving up is not part of my vocabulary

Waiting for my bus, I have a tendency to people watch. The ones that always seem to catch my eye though are those who are running or wearing their, “UCR Track & Field” or “UCR Cross Country shirts.” It’s as if they are all rubbing it in my face, like they’re mocking me. I had the opportunity to do something I really wanted to, I had the chance to be running for that team. Unfortunately, there is always other factors, other very unwelcome factors that inhibited me from following what otherwise would have been an automatic yes.
Not being on the team, I figured, well I can still run.
That ended a few months back when I came to the realization that I am injured. I thought it would go away with time. It’s still there.

Ideally, we all want something we can’t have. I guess, that’s what makes the chase so much better, or so much worse, depending on how you look at it.
I miss the freedom of running. I miss the ability to just drop everything and empty my mind, free my body of any restraints, with only my feet to carry me. What can I do about it? Just keep on moving. But I know, this is not the end.

This idea goes for so many people. Its not a circumstance that remains specific. Everyone has something that ultimately is out of reach, or so they believe. So they give up. That’s the end of it. Let’s change dreams, because this one is just too difficult.

That’s not the answer. Giving up is the easy way out. You’ll get somewhere, sure, but is that somewhere what you want, what you wanted? No.

The journey is the greatest part. The most challenging, maybe, but in the end, its all worth it. To reach that last goal, to get that long awaited medal, to reach the finish line, its all so much more worth it knowing the heart wrenching path that was required to get there, and that despite it, you made it. It makes that trophy shine so much brighter. It makes that smile, that happiness, so much more real.

don't get me wrong, optimism is not easy to always carry. it's difficult, i know, i definitely haven't always been able to carry such a positive attitude. and i have one person to thank for that. i love you michael.