The day I had an epiphany

I'm stubborn, I'll admit it. So when people try to tell me things to help, I at times don't fully take it into consideration. Today was different.

My boyfriend and I were having a conversation about my obsession with fashion and my lifestyle, and got into the topic of the quote I have on my blog, "To thine own self be true." He questioned whether I truly live by that. I presumed yes. After that though the conversation was like this:

him: wait..
    who are you?

me: what?

him: i dont know who you are..

me: ?

him: i dont understand all your mixed signals
    your happy..
    mad at yourself
    live through others compliments
    love running

  you love poetry 

  who are you?

me: i dont know
    i honestly could not answer that
    well not never
    but not now

him: then how can you be true to yourself?
    if you dont even know who to be true to?

This realization truly blew my mind. This showed the absolute contradiction amongst the different ideas I use to describe myself, but up until this point, I had never realized it. I was dumbfounded and amazed all at once. There was true beauty in that statement for me... how can you be true to yourself if you don't even know who you're being true to?


 

Favsies

Yesterday was terribly uneventful. It basically consisted of me dragging around the house all day wrapped in a blanket because it is so darn cold in this house. My temporary lack of pants was also an issue concerning the chill, as I came unprepared to my mother's house. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a better day.  It should be, since I will hopefully get to see my boyfriend again after three days.

In the meantime, I decided to take these outfit photos, mainly to show my love for a few of the Christmas gifts I received.

It's almost sad to part with truly youthful years, as that goes along with the surprise of it all. Counting down the days to see just what is in those lovely wrapped boxes labeled with your name. Now it seems to have lost it's luster since I already know what I am getting beforehand. Oh, online wishlists. haha

Ah, but I won't complain. I love everything I received despite the lack of mystery. Especially my new combat boots! 

What was your favorite thing you received this Christmas? Link it or whatever. I would love to see. :)

 

currently listening to: I Knew- Lightning Dust

The day after Christmas

I hope everyone's Christmas went very well. :)

I spent my Christmas Eve mainly with my grandma and aunt working away in the kitchen, preparing cookies, posole, tamales, ect. I was actually very nice despite the pain in my wrist cutting that darn cabbage caused me. Just the matter of working and spending time with family made a huge difference. I really wish I had taken pictures that day, but I have to say I'm disapointed in myself, as I did not.

I spent Christmas with my mother and family over here though, which did actually get pictures thank goodness. My stepsister is going to kill me if she finds out I made these photos public to the internet.

My little brother always gets so excited for Christmas and opening gifts. I became Lego master after that day, having helped him build like three boxes full. Though I took joy in that, I have to say, I got some great stuff myself. Specifically consisting of an amazing red plaid button up, a much needed plain black skirt, and some black combat boots!

My cousin, Christian, is one of those guys who would rather be caught making an odd face than smiling in a picture. Gosh, I remember when we were two little kids wrestling each other. I can't get over how he is now a sophomore in high school and so tall! The only thing I dislike is that right off awkwardness that comes with seeing someone again after a long period of time. How things seem to change!

currently listening to: candlelight- relient k

p.s. I hope everyone enjoys the blog reconstruction as much as I do!

it's full of flowers and heart shaped boxes

With days like this starting off the official first day of Winter, who needs snow? Gosh, my boyfriend is amazing :) This past Monday, he went through the trouble of bringing my favorite things together, him, hot chocolate, and the holidays. I feel like this picture captured the day completely!

 

Also, I can't forget that despite sunflowers being out of season, he searched for them, just because he knows they are my favorite flower. <3

currently listening to: the book of love- peter gabriel

P.S. I'm currently obsessed with this 1960s photo effect. I can't get enough of it!

reinventing what we knew

I'm starting to feel as if my blog looks a bit overdone. I say it's time for a bit of reconstruction for the new year.

currently listening to: verse chorus verse- nirvana

I decided to make some slight alterations to my blog to bring in the holiday spirit a bit. I love the falling snow, even though, there is no snow anywhere near me. Takes away from the whole atmosphere of the holidays, but that's Southern California. Other than that though, there is so much to love about this time of year.

What's your favorite part about the holidays?

currently listening to: all i want for christmas is you- lisa lavie

i am wondering right through

 woke up this morning to an empty house. So to pass the time, I decided, why not take advantage of my mother's Nikon D40 and take a couple outfit pictures as jennifhsieh has inspired me to give a try.

 

currently listening to: zombie- pretty reckless

oh for goodness sakes.

I'm sorry, but I feel this deserves a rant.

This world is so materialistic it's ridiculous. Coming from someone who loves fashion, I understand that this statement must sound contradictory, but high end clothing is not a necessity for my existence.

This is part of why I do not take a certain liking to my step father.

Today I came to visit my mother and she asked me to go with her to purchase a "small" Christmas gift for my 7-year-old brother's teacher. When arriving at the store, she is looking for a $30 Starbucks gift card. I, personally, found this amount excessive, so I voiced my opinion to her and asked maybe the $15 would be more appropriate. She agreed and went with that one. When getting home, my step dad instantly asks what she purchased. Showing him, he asks, "Only $15? You should have at least gotten 30 like I said." Me tending to be a bit outspoken, said, "So you're basically saying that the amount of a gift outweighs that matter of the work that he does?" He in turn makes a somewhat uncalled for remark by saying, "We are in Anaheim Hills here," basically retorting that "we are from a higher social standing here and your idea of a gift is so much lesser than mine."

I've grown up not the wealthiest of people in the world and have come to appreciate what it is that I have. I'm not saying that I am better than anyone, whether they are materialistic or not. We are all equal in any matter, though I wish some took realization to certain values.

currently listening to: ms. hill- talib kweli

i know it well

It never seizes to stir me... how there can be so many people in this world, yet one can still feel so lonely, as if they are the only remaining occupant of a long dusty trail.

currently listening to: blood bank- bon iver

you'd put the moon in a basket on your bike front by the coast

My current obsession: oxfords. I want a pair so bad! I'm a bit partial to the Aldo's i have shown. I adore the androgyny of the shoe.

 

Free People capone oxfords

ALDO jipson oxfords 

My other new found love is Robert Francis's music. Beautiful.

currently listening to: junebug- robert francis

playing the hand you get, you're not alone in this

We all get our hearts trampled on a bit, but it takes someone strong to carry on.

As many know the difficulty in carrying such a thing alone, there is always someone out there just waiting to be there for you. Give them the chance. Let them in. It will be something you will never regret. They will be someone you never forget.

currently listening to: hope for the hopeless- a fine frenzy

currently listening to: soon the day- talib kweli & norah jones

I have been wicked behind with my blog. The stress has just been piling on. First college final tomorrow, wish me luck!

now back to the books!

currently listening to: basic space- the xx